Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Pivotal Moment ...

I'd like to share with you all a very personal moment that Jack and I shared during the early morning hours today ...

At about 3:00 am, Jack awoke for his typical nighttime feeding. He quickly drank a bottle while we watched some HGTV (those of you who know me well are not surprised to hear this). After his bottle and a diaper change, Jack didn't seem quite ready to back to sleep. So, like we often do, we rocked in his nursery rocking chair while I tried to breastfeed him back to sleep. He latched on like an old pro, and as he suckled, the warmth of our bodies merging together, we just looked deeply at one another.

And for that moment, for the first time, I saw his crooked little fingers as just a "Jack" thing.
I saw his tiny ears that slightly overturn as the cutest ears on earth.
I saw his almond shaped eyes as simply the most beautiful big blue eyes I've ever seen.
And, in his eyes, I did not see his Brushfield spots.
Instead, I saw sparkling stars amidst seas of blue.
Rather than the slightly flattened bridge to his nose, I just saw the same nose that I see when I look at my own baby pictures.
I saw that the little gap between his great toe and second toe looked just like mine after years of wearing flip flops every summer.
And, finally ... I saw his smile. A true and honest smile. Not one caused by gas or triggered during a dream, but a real smile. The kind that lit up his entire face. He was lying there, held snuggly against my bare breast, just smiling at me with his huge beautiful grin.

And in that very moment ... I forgot about my worries and fears for our future.
I forgot about the fact that he may not sit at 6 months or walk at 12.
I forgot that he may take a little longer to learn to feed himself or to tie his shoes.
I forgot that he might not go to a regular school or ever be a sports star.
I forgot that people may make fun of him one day, and I forgot about how this might make him feel.
I forgot that he might not go to college or kiss a girl.
I forgot that he won't become doctor, a lawyer, or a veterinarian.
I forgot that he won't ever experience the joy of becoming a father.

In that very moment ... I forgot about his Down Syndrome.


  1. it will happen more and more. you will start to see "typical" kids as weird looking. i mean, come on, their heads are HUGE and they have those long gangely finger. that's just weird. ;)

  2. Once again, I will say this is the most beautiful thing I have ever read. Thank you for letting me be a part of it.

  3. what an amazing moment for you. thank you for sharing. I love you so much.

  4. Korey, you are such an amazing mother. Thank you so much for sharing this. Love you so so much.

  5. Korey, You made me cry. I cried for the joy that moment must have meant to you. I cried because I at one time or another have felt those fear for someone I love. Those fears they don't go away but somehow getting to know that little person and watching him grow make everyone of those fear easier to handle. You are a true inspiration.

  6. That sounds like a wonderful, amazing moment Korey. Gave me goose bumps.

  7. korey, i just looked at your blog for the first time today and it is so honest and beautiful. i have had goosebumps while reading it, and this post was just so heartfelt it made me cry. you are wonderful and an inspiration. jack is lucky to have you :)

  8. I remember that moment with Natalie too and it is something that you will cherish forever. Welcome to your new "normal". Jack is so adorable!

  9. what a beautiful story,and yes it made me cry !!
    I can hardly wait to meet your son. Would love to take you both to lunch one sat. You are truely an inspiation to all Mom's out there, and old mom's like me. Becoming a grandmother 14 months ago completely changed my perspective on what is truly important in this thoughts have been there with you through your nursing school, marraiage, 1st. nursing job, pregnancy and now onto the greatest thing in life --motherhood ! Remember I told you I would always miss you! Love, Barbara

  10. Korey, this was beautiful. Jack looks so sweet and I hope I get to meet him some day soon. Thank you for reminding me of the things that are important in life. I will pray for you, Robert and Jack that the Lord will give you peace and guidance through parenthood.