Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Robert and I both admit to not attending church often enough, partly due to being out of town a lot and partly due to letting other things "get in the way" of it (which we always promise to change but don't always follow through). But every time we do go, Robert and I always talk about how much better we feel for having gone and how it's such a nice way to end the week. Well, today was no exception ...
Maybe it was the fact that our pastor talked about the feeling of needing to be rescued at times in our lives. As he spoke, I thought back to a time in my life nearly 11 months ago when I sat in a hospital bed after delivering a beautiful baby boy, and professionals were already telling me that was wasn't perfect. I remember feeling angry, sad, cheated, alone ... and, well, like I needed to be rescued. I also remember just wanting grab Jack and run off with him to an island where there were just mothers and their children with Down Syndrome, so we wouldn't feel so alone and so ... different. I felt a desperate need to fit in but also a desperate need to flee all at the same time.
But something our pastor also talked about this morning was resurrection. He didn't just talk about resurrection for the obvious reason (it's Easter, duh), but he spoke of how maybe when we feel like we need to be rescued, we might actually be seeking resurrection of some sort ... a rebirth, a new start, a fresh perspective, new found faith and empowerment, an everlasting love. While I listened, tears welled up in my eyes as I looked over at my husband holding my sweet Jack (who was smiling at a nice elderly lady behind us and making her laugh, yet again). I realized at this time that I did not need to be rescued that day last May when Jack was born. Instead, I actually realized that I had become resurrected in some way that day ... as a new mother, an everlasting advocate for a child, reborn as a person whose heart was more open to difference, change, and most importantly, more open to love. It's incredible how one moment can be the most frightening and the most wonderful moment of your life, all at the same time.
Friday, April 15, 2011
We hope you have a wonderful first birthday, little man. It seems just like yesterday that I contacted your mommy and we met at Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream for our very first Down Syndrome Network Moms' Night Out. You and Jack were only just a few weeks old then and so very tiny. Your mommy and I knew early on that she and I had a very special bond, that our families would be wonderful friends, and that you and Jack were going to be terrific buddies. It's hard to believe that nearly a year (and many playdates) later, tomorrow you are turning the big ONE! You and Jack are growing up so fast, and while it's hard for your mommy and me because we'll always see you as our babies, we love seeing you develop into the unique and wonderful people you are. And, we cannot wait to see you two grow up together and be the very best of friends!
Carter, on your first birthday and everyday, please know how very special you are ... not because you have an extra chromosome, but because of who you are, where you came from, and the love that surrounds you and your family. We love you very much, Carter! Happy Birthday, little man!
See you very soon, Korey (and Jack :)