Thursday, October 28, 2010

Happy Birthday, Jack!

Jack is officially 5 months old today! I can't believe it ... it feels like just yesterday he was sleeping in his bassinet and now he actually "fits" in his crib! Some days I want to tell him to slow down and always stay a baby. This is probably one of the reasons we haven't started feeding him solids yet, despite our pediatrician and PT telling us to go for it. I guess I'm just in denial! I was talking to one of my girlfriends on the phone tonight whose little girl is turning 1 tomorrow (Happy Birthday, Ella!), and she was talking about how children really do grow up so fast (sometimes too fast, it seems). But, time flies when you're having fun, right?!?!

While I often wish Jack would stay a baby forever, I also often find myself wanting to rush other things. I think that because everyone tells me "he will be delayed," I work so hard at making him hit his milestones (some of which he has actually hit early, even in comparison to "typical" children). It's very interesting how I feel like I want him to stay a baby forever because no one will have momentous expectations of him until he's older. If he stays a baby then I guess I feel that he will never be subjected to ridicule or unfair comparisons to his peers. On the other hand, I know that he has to grow up so I feel myself also pushing him to develop quickly so he never gets "left behind." I hope that all these feelings are normal and that I don't come off sounding like an unrealistic mother of a child with special needs, but this is just how I feel. I guess I just want to protect him and guard his feelings.

To my sweet baby boy on his 5-month birthday:

Dear Jack,

No matter how long it takes you to walk or talk or tie your shoe, I want you to know that you are and will always be my hero. You have taught me a great deal about what is important in this tangled and confusing world we live in. I didn't know how much I could love someone until you were born, and when I look at your sweet smile, I genuinely feel as if my heart could explode. I look forward to the many adventures we will have together during this journey we call life. I will always be here for you to help you be the best you can be. Please know that I am so very proud of you already, and I will love you forever and ever!

Happy 5th Month Birthday, sweet Jack!

Love, Mommy

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